Spring

First new moon of the spring happening tonight, on a Sunday, the first day of the week. Seems like the perfect time for a new start. Research has  shown that we humans tend to start new things at beginnings- First day of the year, first day of our year (birthday), first of the month, first day of the work week (which for me is Sunday). So the first new moon of the spring on a Sunday sounds like a good day for a new start.

The past few days it’s been rainy, but on my walks I have noticed that the flowers on trees seem to bloom suddenly overnight. I don’t have allergies so I think it looks beautiful. Today, though, I am thinking more about the weather. Rainy, cloudy, dreary, heavy, I-just-want-to-curl-up-under-a-blanket-on-the-couch-and-watch-cotton-candy-tv weather. Stagnant. Stopping. Waiting…

That’s where the struggle lies. I never ask for patience because that’s always an experiential lesson- and that gives me a lot of emotional discomfort. Yet here I am…waiting.  Waiting for the storms to break.

I don’t think I am alone in this. Covid restrictions are wearing on people. With limited community and IRL connections, limited routines and interactions, internal resources are running low.

After the rain comes the blooms. Some trees didn’t make it through the winter cold and storms, the ones that did are blooming. Some boldly, some barely, but they are blooming. Right now, I kind of like to think of it as the trees’ little “F you” middle finger to mother nature if you will. Their version of “I Will Survive” (cue Gloria Gaynor for those of you of a certain age.) 

I don’t know about you, but this past fall and winter were rough ones for me. The universe threw some things my way I did not expect to have to deal with at this stage of life. But here we are.  I kind of enjoyed the respite of the rainy days. A reminder to reflect. Yes, there have been quite a few losses and significant changes. But growth continues, even after pruning…  Self care may have consisted of showing up for a pathetic 5 minutes (I like to call that a “placeholder”) but I showed up, even if I was grumbling for 4 minutes and 30 seconds of it.  Here’s why that matters – I acknowledged what’s going on in my world. We all want to be seen, heard, and known. That starts with us seeing, hearing, and knowing ourselves.  Start new today with that check in.   Acknowledge where you are and what you need. Take a step, or a begrudging half-step, in that direction. Shoot, give mother nature the middle finger and sing along with Ms. Gaynor if it makes you feel better. Just take some time to feed your soul today. It matters.